Dr. Phil in Durham
I'm just a little drunk. Scratch that. I'm quite drunk. Naa. I've had a lot to drink. Yeah, that's what I was looking for. 7 beers and 1 bacardi and coke is a lot of booze! The idea of mentioning this is to set the tone for the rest of the post.
Shoutout to N if you read this :). I decided to jot my thoughts down despite the reservations I talked to you about today.
It seems like some people do read this blog, so....Disclaimer: the following contains random thoughts and observations and attempts at psychoanalysis which are more than likely completely off base. I shall type out an actual account of the fun things going on in my next post.
Over the last 3 weeks in Durham, I've probably had more to drink than the last year! (okay so maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but you get the point). All people want to do is go out and party (read: drink). The 5 days of health sector bootcamp was the only respite I got from the non-stop socializing. I use the word "respite" because it was reaching a point where it was getting a little tiresome. Of course, I spent those 5 days freaking out thinking I'm the dumbest kid in class since I had no idea what anyone was talking about. And then they thrust this project on us that made absolutely no sense to me. We (my team and I) did figure it out in the end, but that was pretty stressful.
So coming back to the social aspect, the dynamics at play have been quite interesting. Everyone I've met has been *really* friendly and people are really nice out here. However, the fact is that B school is going to attract a lot of different personality types. So you have the extremely driven types, who want to meet everyone and do as much "networking" as possible. Watching them at a party/social event is like watching someone doing the speed dating thingie. They'll be really friendly with everyone but it's like they're constantly assessing your worth based on their own criteria. They'll determine your value, spend some time with you depending on your perceived value (the value could be social, professional etc) and then quickly move on to the next person. You won't really know why the person who was so friendly the last time doesn't really have time for you the next time you meet him/her.
Then there are the people I like to refer to as "hawks". These are the single people who're constantly making a different kind of assessment. They're trying to sample the "market" out there, figuring out what their options are and positioning themselves to have the best "shot" at a potential girlfriend/boyfriend. These people move quickly through the group and single out the potentially interesting/good-looking guys/girls and focus on them. This can be bad for your ego if you think you're the shit (to borrow from my teenage cousins' lingo) and people basically "pass" on you disdainfully :).
Then there are the people who're trying to get to know as many people as possible simply because they've moved to a new city and don't really know other folks. They want to make sure they give themselves the best shot at being included in any groups/cliques that might get formed over the initial days since no one wants to be left out. Everyone wants to find that group of friends that they can hang out with casually or just "chill out at home and sit on the couch and chat" as M said. They try to meet as many people as possible.
Finally, there are the people who are genuinely interested in their classmates and just want to chat sans agenda. They just want to get to know people, where they're from, what they want to do etc.
I do *not* think I fall in the last category unfortunately. Also, I haven't necessarily been guilty of or been at the receiving end of any of this.
These dynamics don't really lead to a bad atmosphere. Everyone still has a good time and I've made some great friends.
The other observation I have is about the international students. Despite all the talk about the diverse student body, I see a lot of segregation. A lot of the students from S. East Asia (China, S. Korea etc) and India tend to stay in their own little groups. There might be some interaction, but it's at a very superficial level. This body of students hasn't really been socializing with the rest of the student body. It might be a cultural (going to bars/clubs might not be everyones thing) and/or language (some people aren't that fluent in English) thing. Some (international) students might feel intimidated by the prospect of interacting with other people in a social setting where all the above mentioned dynamics leave very little room for talking to someone slowly, casually and without pressure. Hopefully this will change with time as school starts.
More on HSM bootcamp, settling in at NC, partying in Durham/Chapel Hill etc in next post.
Shoutout to N if you read this :). I decided to jot my thoughts down despite the reservations I talked to you about today.
It seems like some people do read this blog, so....Disclaimer: the following contains random thoughts and observations and attempts at psychoanalysis which are more than likely completely off base. I shall type out an actual account of the fun things going on in my next post.
Over the last 3 weeks in Durham, I've probably had more to drink than the last year! (okay so maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but you get the point). All people want to do is go out and party (read: drink). The 5 days of health sector bootcamp was the only respite I got from the non-stop socializing. I use the word "respite" because it was reaching a point where it was getting a little tiresome. Of course, I spent those 5 days freaking out thinking I'm the dumbest kid in class since I had no idea what anyone was talking about. And then they thrust this project on us that made absolutely no sense to me. We (my team and I) did figure it out in the end, but that was pretty stressful.
So coming back to the social aspect, the dynamics at play have been quite interesting. Everyone I've met has been *really* friendly and people are really nice out here. However, the fact is that B school is going to attract a lot of different personality types. So you have the extremely driven types, who want to meet everyone and do as much "networking" as possible. Watching them at a party/social event is like watching someone doing the speed dating thingie. They'll be really friendly with everyone but it's like they're constantly assessing your worth based on their own criteria. They'll determine your value, spend some time with you depending on your perceived value (the value could be social, professional etc) and then quickly move on to the next person. You won't really know why the person who was so friendly the last time doesn't really have time for you the next time you meet him/her.
Then there are the people I like to refer to as "hawks". These are the single people who're constantly making a different kind of assessment. They're trying to sample the "market" out there, figuring out what their options are and positioning themselves to have the best "shot" at a potential girlfriend/boyfriend. These people move quickly through the group and single out the potentially interesting/good-looking guys/girls and focus on them. This can be bad for your ego if you think you're the shit (to borrow from my teenage cousins' lingo) and people basically "pass" on you disdainfully :).
Then there are the people who're trying to get to know as many people as possible simply because they've moved to a new city and don't really know other folks. They want to make sure they give themselves the best shot at being included in any groups/cliques that might get formed over the initial days since no one wants to be left out. Everyone wants to find that group of friends that they can hang out with casually or just "chill out at home and sit on the couch and chat" as M said. They try to meet as many people as possible.
Finally, there are the people who are genuinely interested in their classmates and just want to chat sans agenda. They just want to get to know people, where they're from, what they want to do etc.
I do *not* think I fall in the last category unfortunately. Also, I haven't necessarily been guilty of or been at the receiving end of any of this.
These dynamics don't really lead to a bad atmosphere. Everyone still has a good time and I've made some great friends.
The other observation I have is about the international students. Despite all the talk about the diverse student body, I see a lot of segregation. A lot of the students from S. East Asia (China, S. Korea etc) and India tend to stay in their own little groups. There might be some interaction, but it's at a very superficial level. This body of students hasn't really been socializing with the rest of the student body. It might be a cultural (going to bars/clubs might not be everyones thing) and/or language (some people aren't that fluent in English) thing. Some (international) students might feel intimidated by the prospect of interacting with other people in a social setting where all the above mentioned dynamics leave very little room for talking to someone slowly, casually and without pressure. Hopefully this will change with time as school starts.
More on HSM bootcamp, settling in at NC, partying in Durham/Chapel Hill etc in next post.
posted by MJ at Saturday, August 12, 2006
3 Comments:
i think more than "some" people read your blog, so keep posting as long as you can.
that was some very keen observation on your part, and i really couldnt find the inebriated MJ there.
sometimes, drunken observations are totally on the mark. the cynic in me says no one falls into that last category of yours, esp. not in b-school; the ones who appear to are merely the ones whose social skills have evolved to the point where they can be subtle while sizing you up.
Never knew this side of the B school :) Gosh its a wild wild world out there !!! How on earth will you get true friends if it is like this :-/
Post a Comment
<< Home