Double standards?

The Debra LaFave case has been all over the news the last two days. More so in my listening area since it’s a local story. It’s pretty obvious she got a sweet deal. Most experts seemed to agree that there was no way she could avoid jail time if the case ever went to trial.

So we come to the question that has been asked a million times over the last two days. Would a male in a similar situation have gotten off this lightly? Hell no! He would have been branded a paedophile and would have been rotting in jail. No brainer. So isn’t that a double standard? Of course it is. However, unlike a lot of other double standards (some quite justified IMO), no one seems to be particularly outraged over this.

Is it because people reckon a 14 year old guy isn’t really the victim here if he got to have sex with such a hottie? Does that make what the teacher did acceptable? Then why even have a law regarding statutory rape? Why even make it illegal for a person over a certain age to have sex with minors? Why not just formulate a new set of laws stating that as long as the sex is consential and as long as the minor is a boy who wants to get some ass, anything goes?

What makes this even more outrageous is the fact that the gist of one of the arguments of the defense attorney was that she’s too pretty for prison. That she would just be victimized in prison. Sure. Poor helpless Debra LaFave. Let’s just let her walk shall we?

There has been a trend of letting women off lightly in such cases. This is the 3rd teacher (all the teachers are female) in Florida who has been charged with having a sexual relationship with a student. Aren’t teachers supposed to be held to a higher standard. People are trusting their kids to these people. Whatever happened to fiduciary responsibility. If anything, the penalty for such a crime should be even more severe for these people!

The logic behind not seeing the need to send these women to prison is that such an act or incident affects young girls very differently than guys the same age. Moreover, the chances of a woman being a repeat offender are minimal (let’s forget the Mary Kay Laterneau case for the moment). A man in a similar situation is more likely to be a threat to society and children and needs to be locked up. I don’t necessarily agree with this reasoning in terms of the conclusion drawn ie women need not serve time but I do see the logic.

Wasted weekend

Feel like shit right now. Another wasted weekend. Did not accomplish much. I really need to get my act together. This blog is symbolic of what my weekend (and my life recently) has been like. Stilted, with no direction and focus.

And it's not like I don't have tons of things going on. The Darden application is due on the 1st of Dec and I can't get my sorry ass to sit in one place and concentrate on trying to figure out how "my past experiences have influenced my leadership style". These corny essay topics that business schools choose make me gag! The thought of smart men and women sitting and going through reams of BS written by prospective students on how they are the second coming of Michael Dell, with their business initiative or Mother Teresa with their "humanitarian" side, is hilarious (and in case, some adcom ever comes across this blog....i keeed)! But I digress....

So I decided to cut myself off from the limited social engagements that I did have for the weekend and finish off my essays in one marathon session. That shouldn't be too hard...I should be able to sit and concentrate for 2 days straight....No biggie...YEAH RiGHT!

The master plan was that I'd sit at the local library, this breathtakingly gorgeous building by the beach and sip on a latte and brainstorm. Got lunch, turned off the cell phone, got the laptop, picked up the Darden brochure and headed out. I had a sense of purpose. Let's go! You know where this is going right? The plan, the preparation, the build up.....and then...kaput! I get there and there's this HUGE fair going on the grounds outside the library. Apparently all the frickin geeks in the area had chosen this weekend to converge on the good ol local library for a Pirate's Convention. Yea, you read that right. A pirate's convention! Try brainstorming and thinking about leadership and career goals when you have grown men dressed as pirates performing these elaborate routines complete with sword fights and singing! And we're not talking a couple of pirates. We're talking hundreds of them. And the women. Ah, the women. I'm surprised those dudes could even concentrate on their intricate sword moves with all that cleavage around! So needless to say, after an hour or so of valiantly laboring on, I gave up the whole essay thing as a bad job and joined the revelry.

So we come to Sunday. Have no fear kiddo. All is not lost. You have an entire day ahead of you. You know you can do it. Once those creative juices start flowing, you're gonna have those essays done in no time. RIIGGGHHTTT. Sunday morn I realize I had set up a lunch "date" with this girl I met recently! Dunno how that slipped my mind. Well I do know. Had something to do with a certain hottie from London but that's a story for another day.

So the "date" went pretty well. Will probably see her again. But for some reason, the thing was kinda stressful. Didn't have my A game on. Wasn't really feeling good about it. Decided to sleep it off. And sleep it off I did. For 3 hours! And here we are.

Got on my comp to finally get some work done and succumbed to my latest addiction. Blogging. Well not blogging per se. More like reading other people's blogs. There's a voyeuristic pleasure in following what's going on in the lives of people and sitting and judging them and the decisions they take. Kind of like a bad soap. The Sepia Mutiny group blog is kinda interesting. Frequented by some very smart and insightful people, but they sometimes come across as stodgy and pompous. Gets annoying. That blog led me to a couple of interesting blogs including Rupa's blog and Anna's blog among several others. First impression: narcissistic loser, completely in love with herself (i couldn't have been more wrong obviously). HOWEVER, isn't there a certain element of narcissism in *all* of us? Especially, those of us who blog about our personal lives or thoughts. Or is it just a need for attention and validation? More on this later. And then of course there are all the usual suspects..App, Rupa, DT, Shreya and a ton of others. Getting addicted to that shit.

Rituals and customs.

And so the journey begins.........

I was having this discussion with a friend about Indian culture and the relevance of certain rituals in the lives of Indians in this day and age. What her argument came down to was that certain Indian rituals are rather silly and pointless. Her reasoning? She wanted an explanation and the history for everything that is part of our culture, else it didn’t make sense to her. Got me thinking.....

Is it really necessary to understand the history behind every tradition or the meaning of every shloka or ritual? Is it really essential to know why you make a rangoli on holi or why a sister ties a rakhi on rakshabandhan or why you light firecrackers on diwali? Does the meaning of those funny sounding words that that funny looking priest in those funny looking clothes chants when people get married really matter? And what exactly is the significance of that fun dance we do every october?

It’s great to know the meaning of these things. Iin fact, thats what I woud strive for .It’s great to understand your culture, and where you come from, to whatever degree you’re comfortable with or curious about. But at a certain point, maybe it’s okay to say that this is part of my heritage which goes back several thousand years. These are the traditions that have been assimilated over a period of several centuries. Maybe I can’t understand all of them. Maybe I can’t learn the history and the roots of every single ritual. But maybe I don’t need to. Maybe I’m just proud of where I’m from and like following those rituals because they are a part of me and my roots..

I guess what I am getting at is that not being able to understand or rationalize it is not reason enough for me to give up something like my heritage.