Current affairs

Move

Preparations for the move to Durham are in full swing. I've turned in the notice for my apartment. Now I need to buy that digital camera ASAP, take pics of my furniture and try to unload it on some unsuspecting schmuck! Heck of a reason to drop $300 on a cam huh? Of course having a camera during my vacation won't hurt so it's all good. Having never sold stuff online before and living in a city where craigslist isn't as huge as say Boston, Chicago or SF, I'm a little worried about having enough time to sell off all my stuff in the next 15 days. I did consider renting a UHaul and taking everything with me but that just seemed like too much of a hassle and not really economically sensible. I might as well buy some new stuff for the $1100 (plus gas) it'll cost me to rent the UHaul. That still doesn't solve the problem of transporting my motorcycle though. Apparently I can't rent a motorcycle trailer for a one way move. Hmm. I'll just have to get it shipped. There goes another 600 bucks.

Duke

After a couple of emails to the International Office at Duke, I finally sent out all my paperwork for the 'Request for Temporary Visa' to get my I-20. I'm most definitely going to take a loan to fund my education but decided it might be a better idea to show my own funds as part of the paperwork. I didn't want to deal with the uncertainty of the INS trying to figure out if I would be able to support myself or whatever. As for how I got all that serious cash (at least for me), it's nice to have a rich sister :).
That's all the legal paperwork I need to take care of for now. Will have to file for an official COS (Change of Status) once I get back in early July. I am a little concerned about the loan though. The Duke website states that the paperwork for the private loan will be available in May. Hopefully, I'll have enough time to take care of that before I leave.

Vacation

I need to start spending a little more time researching and figuring out what I want to do on my trip. I'm all for being spontaneous and taking things as they come but it would be a shame to miss out on something that I would really want to do while I'm visiting all these beautiful places.
I recieved my flight tickets today and finally got my Schengen visa a couple of days back. Should have my British visa in a couple of days. Looks like the trip is definitely on! While I'm super excited about travelling across Europe, I'm even more psyched about visiting India. It's been 2 years since I've been there. Will be fun to visit some of the old haunts.

On my mind

A few weeks ago, I had blogged about a story I came across about a young Indian-American author who had landed a $500K deal to write a book at the very young age of 17. On Sunday, the Harvard Crimson came out with a story that suggested that certain passages from the now released book: "How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild and Got a Life" by Kaavya Viswanathan (Update: The book has been withdrawn by the publishers), bore a striking resemblance to passages from the books "Sloppy Firsts" and "Second Helpings" by Megan F. McCafferty. There were numerous reactions to this article, most notably on Sepia Mutiny. Surprisingly (or maybe not), this story snowballed into one of the biggest stories in the popular media over the last few days with articles written on literally every major news site and an appearance by the author on the Today Show. There have been several reactions to the story including condemning the author and a passionate call for compassion (considering her age) and suspension of judgement by some. My reaction to the latter can be summed up by the following passage that I posted on SM in response to a post by Anna in which she talks about several things including jealosy.

when the story about her book deal broke, she was universally applauded. i blogged about her as did several others i know. there was no jealosy involved. just pure appreciation for an amazing achievement. i did not stop to ponder on how she landed the deal, whether she got someone else to write for her, whether she had "connections" or any such random thing you can think of.
when the story about the plagarism accusation broke, she was universally condemned by most people that i talked to. this reaction again was not based on jealosy or the need to kick someone when they were down. it was based on the feeling that plagiarism is just plain wrong. it was based on the feeling that we were misled. of course we're basing our judgement on the passages posted in the news story.
the fact that she is 19 is definitely something that you must consider, and sure you feel sorry for her. that does not mean it is wrong to discuss the story and say that what she did was stupid. also, you can be foolish and immature at 19, maybe enough to copy your math assignment due the next day, not enough to plagiarize on a book for which you've been paid $500K. that of course is just my opinion.

However, over the last few hours, after watching Kaavya's interview on the Today Show, I can't help but feel sorry for this young girl.

i still believe that she lifted at least some of those passages verbatim. however, the punishment should always fit the crime. what KV has gone through (and will probably go through for a long time) should be enough to make her realize what a big mistake she made and hopefully learn from it.

at a personal level, if she remains in a state of denial and refuses to take responsibility for her actions, it will only hurt her in the long run and that would be really sad.

i watched the msn clip and she seemed genuinely sorry to me. it's been said that she comes across as arrogant, brash, priviliged etc in other interviews. if that's the way she is, i probably wouldn't be able to stand her if i knew her personally. but all i saw was a young girl in an extremely tough situation who handled herself remarkably well. she seemed genuinely contrite (was her voice quivering?). she did not come out and issue a full blown apology (although it seemed like she inadvertently blurted out "im sorry" before adding "even though it was unintentional"), but to expect that would be a lot from anyone, more so from a 19 year old, especially on national tv. her parents/friends/handlers are probably advising her on what to say right now and if they told her that to accept any wrong doing could ruin her career, you can not expect her to do so of her own accord.

i have forgiven people for much worse than what KV did. KV does not need my forgiveness. she did not wrong me in any way. she did not hurt me. i did not buy her book. i did not read her book. all i did was admire her and blog about her. that is not reason enough to hate her. all i feel for her is sympathy. yes, even if she did plagiarize (and more so if she didn't).

Sure she might end up with a lucrative book deal or a nice movie to tell her story. That would be a shame since I don't condone plagiarism. But I don't feel the need to hate her or keep critisizing her. We'll see how this plays out.

Monkeys, haters and mirror neurons

The last few weeks, there was a spate of negative comments left by anonymous posters on various blogs including those of MBAJ, MBAC and TyCoon. The phenomenon even spawned a post by Where'sMyDesert trying to preempt the haters by posting possible anonymous comments herself! I didn't (and don't) feel the need to engage in this discussion for several reasons, so I won't get into that.

I did however come across a link to an interesting post that is sort of related to this, on Instapundit, which he teased as 'WHY READING NASTY BLOG COMMENTS (and blogs) can be bad for you.' Apparently there are scientific studies out there that suggest that we do indeed mirror the emotions of those around us and that negativity (or something positive) can affect our behaviour.

Spend time with a nervous, anxious person and physiological monitoring would most likely show you mimicking the anxiety and nervousness, in ways that affect your brain and body in a concrete, measurable way. Find yourself in a room full of pissed off people and feel the smile slide right off your face. Listen to people complaining endlessly about work, and you'll find yourself starting to do the same. Link. Mirror Neurons. Business Management.

So I guess there might be some merit to moderating the comments on your site to get rid of the negativity. More importantly, this theory encompasses so much more than just some random anonymous comments. Now that decision about which B school to choose takes on a whole new aspect! Do you want to go to a snotty, cut-throat school or would you rather go somewhere else (SFW, just that link though, dunno about the rest of the site, I've never even heard of it :) ), where you're surrounded by happy people. It's going to affect your brain after all!

Frustrated

File this under "Venting"

This is getting really really frustrating. I've been so psyched about my Europe trip the last 3 months. Unfortunately, it seems like I misjudged the craziness also known as "visa applications". (These are the times I regret (not really) the fact that my parents decided to return to India from the US when I was a kid. If they'd stayed, I would've been a citizen by now and would be laughing in the face of all those annoying consulate officials!). So I was already dealing with the Schengen visa for Europe. Was gonna take a day off on Friday and drive down to a city far far away to get my visa stamped. I would then mail my passport to NY to get my British visa stamped and that would be the end of it. Ha. Or so I thought.

So first I wake up at 5 in the morning on Friday and start driving to make it in time to the promised land of the French consulate. An hour into the drive it strikes me that those lazy French might have decided to take "Easter Friday" (yes, there is such a thing) off so I call a friend to ask her to make sure they're earning their daily bread on that day. After cursing me for 10 minutes and ruing the day she met me, she finally tells me that the consulate was indeed closed. And was it just me or did I sense that she took some joy in telling me that....

So anyway, being the glass half full kinda guy that I am, I took it in stride with the attitude that at least I didn't drive the whole 5 plus hours before finding out. I came back, got breakfast and decided to set up my visa (to return to the US) appointment in India (I need to get my visa renewed) so that way the morning would not be a complete waste. So after filling out 3 forms over an hour, I find out that there are no dates available till September...say what?!?!... As Douglas Adams would say "Don't Panic". I recalled looking at something about "emergency dates". So I browse back to that page. I'm sure I'll be fine. So the "emergency dates" are available on the exact same days as the regular dates! WTF!

Okay, no worries. I'm an enterprising guy. I'm going to B school this year. I'm going to be a future leader yada yada. I can figure this out. So here's the plan. I'll drive down to get my Schengen visa on Tuesday. It gets mailed back to me the same week. I'll fly to NY and get a Canadian visa stamped sometime next week. The next day I'll swing by the British embassy/consulate (what's the difference? I could look it up but I'm too lazy) and get my visa to England. Then I'll be off to Canada, get my US visa stamped and be all set! Of course there's the minor problem of spending all that moolah and using all that PTO, but what you gonna do?

Of course it didn't quite work out that way. There are no dates available in Canada for AT LEAST the next 3 weeks. Hmm. Okay, maybe I should go the Bahamas to get it stamped....I'm exhausted.

Of course in the meanwhile I'm supposed to confirm my reservation with my travel agent by tomorrow which I can't do since if I can't go, I'll have to pay 500 bucks cancellation fees. Of course I've already spent money in getting tickets from London to Paris since I need to show those to get the Schengen visa so there goes that money. My friend (my ex girlfriend actually) who was gonna join me in Amsterdam backed out since she didn't want to get tickets till I was sure and now they're going to be too expensive.

There are a bunch of other issues but never mind, I think I'm just gonna go sit on my couch and watch tv. Seems more and more likely that I'm going to be doing a lot of that all summer.

Breaking up

You know I really like you. I think you're wonderful. The problem is not you, it's *me*... Please don't feel bad...This is hard...I know you'll find someone a hundred times better than me! Someone who will love you and appreciate you more than I ever did. You deserve someone better.
I had an amazing time with you. You made me feel special and wanted. But.... I just want more. We kind of drifted apart. Our personalities were too different. I realized we weren't meant to be together... No, there's no one else! How could you even think that. Well, maybe there is someone...but that had nothing to do with it! I hope we can still be friends...

Darden and I officially parted ways today.

Ice-ice baby.

Calling Dan Brown. I see a 50 million book sales market right here, eclipsing his previous work. A new study by a professor of oceanography at the Florida State University, claims that Jesus may actually have walked on ice.

Doron Nof, a professor of oceanography, said a rare combination of water and atmospheric conditions in the Sea of Galilee 2,000 years ago may offer a scientific explanation for one of the miracles recounted in the Bible.
Nof said a patch of ice floating in the Sea of Galilee, which is actually a freshwater lake, would have been difficult to distinguish from unfrozen water surrounding it. Link.

With reports of a new manuscript surfacing, which claims that Judas was actually Jesus' most favored disciple, the renewed interest in the Bible, the Catholic Church and the intrigue surrounding the life of Jesus can only continue.

An early Christian manuscript, including the only known text of the Gospel of Judas, has surfaced after 1,700 years, and it portrays Judas Iscariot not as a betrayer of Jesus but as his favored disciple and willing collaborator. Link.

I can just see Messieurs Brown, Michael Baigent, Richard Leigh, and Henry Lincoln, in a wild scramble to see who can capitalize first on this new goldmine.

What if..

So MBAJ's post got c'est la vie thinking, and her post got me thinking....

A friend of mine is dating this guy. They're reasonably happy together. However, sometimes I get the feeling that she's evaluating her choice...what if she weren't with him...what if she were single...what if she were single AND had met that lawyer dude from Chicago....what if she had waited...

I guess as we go through life, we are bound to face several "what ifs". Very similar to the "what if" in my friend's relationship is the "what if" that a lot of applicants face when they find themselves in a situation where they have been rejected by their top choice schools and are trying to make peace with the fact that they will go someplace that is not their first choice. They might begin to wonder....what if they really have the potential to be at their top choice? What went wrong this year? What if with just a little tweaking of the application, they can get in at their top choice? What if they are short changing themselves by going to their second or third or fourth choice?

These questions are bound to pop up since we put in a lot of time and energy into these applications and no one likes (perceived) failure. So I guess it comes down to knowing yourself and managing your expectations and figuring out what you truly want. So you got rejected by your top choice, school A, but are in at your 2nd choice, school B. Should you let the "what if" factor creep in and try again for school A or maybe feel like you're settling for something less? Not if you approached this process in the correct fashion.

At the end of the day, an MBA is a means to an end. We want to develop a certain skill set and become a part of a network that will open up new avenues in any given field. Moreover, the MBA experience should provide us with the opportunity to develop as a person and to be exposed to new people, cultures and ideas. And last, but not the least, it should be a fun and enjoyable experience. Ideally, if you did your research right, school B will provide you with all these opportunities too. So why the "what if" regarding school A? More often than not it comes down to prestige/brand factor, perception of you by your friends/family/peers and the fact that you did not succeed. The last point is a blow to your ego. The fact that you know that school A is *considered* better than school B by some (and maybe even by you) and the fact that after the process, you truly believe that you had a good shot at getting into school A, clouds your judgement slightly and makes you question whether maybe you're settling for less than you deserve. You might lose sight of the real question, which is whether the school you are in at will add value to you as a person and to your career in the future. The answer is ususally, yes. That is why you applied there. Of course it is very possible that no matter what metric you use, school A is indeed better than school B. It still doesn't matter as long as you gave it your best shot. As with several other things in life, it is useless to dwell on what could have been. It is better to focus on what can be.

Most candidates who enter this game believe at some level that they have a good shot at getting into their top school choice. Before this experience, most people have never taken the time to evaluate their lives and to take stock of their achievements to date, so by the end of this process, *most* people are very impressed with themselves :). This leads to the belief that they deserve to and probably can get in whereever they want. Unfortunately there are a limited number of seats, and not everyone can get in everywhere. While believing in yourself is an admirable trait, this thought process might again make you lose your sense of perspective and make you feel less satisfied with an excellent school even though that school will fulfill all the expectations you have from an MBA.

Ultimately, I think there are many paths to success. Not getting into your top choice school or not getting into a school at all, or not getting the job you want etc are all just minor bumps, if that. You just have to take stock of the situation and reroute your path towards your definition of success.

Blue Devil Weekend (with addendum)

I can barely stay awake. Functioning on 13 hours of sleep over 3 nights does that to you. In my infinite wisdom, I decided to stay in Durham/Raleigh one extra night to hang out with friends in the area and flew in this morning. Of course I hadn't informed anyone at work that I wouldn't show up till pretty late in the morning. First thing I know when I land, I have 4 voicemails from work, of people trying to track me down!

The weekend was amazing. I got in early Friday morning and since they'd put us up in this swanky hotel with an amazing golf course, I decided to make use of it. After a (frustrating) round of golf, I decided to head out with another admitted student and his wife to check out some apartments that weren't going to be covered in the apartment tour on Sunday. I don't know if it's a NC thing, but I was pretty surprised by the lack of professionalism at all the leasing offices except one.

We had registration at 4, after which we walked over to Fuqua where the various student clubs had set up stalls to talk about what they do and how we could get involved. Met some really interesting people there. Dinner (and my meals for the rest of the trip!) consisted of salad and desert. Ah, the joys of being vegetarian. We wrapped up the day with a night out in Durham at George's on 9th street. Got crazy crowded there in a couple of hours and some people, mostly first years i guess, got pretty wasted (including 1 super hot chick who kept telling me how she was single and how I absolutely had to come to Fuqua since I'm single too). Well, now I have a reason.....
I had a reasonably good time but after a while I got a little bored since the music was really loud and there's only so long I can scream and carry on a conversation with complete strangers. Got back to my room at around 1:30.

The next day was scheduled to begin at 9 AM. ^#*$&^##$)!!! And to make it worse the stupid front desk forgot to call to wake me up (or did I sleep through their call? hmm..). Luckily, someone called me at 8 AM (who calls at 8 AM on a Saturday?!?!) so I managed to barely make it on time. Was a packed day with an academic preview session consisting of two classes (marketing and finance), both of which were excellent, talks on health care managment, entrepreneurship, consulting etc.
..........I really *am* interested in consulting. The cute girl on the consulting panel had *nothing* to do with me going there first and sticking around for 15 minutes after the session was over......

So after a whole bunch of other stuff, it was finally time for the closing party at the Nasher museum. It started off pretty slow with people standing around and chatting, going through the same ritual they'd been practicing the last 2 days. (Hi, I'm XYZ. I'm from ABC. I work in XYZ. I want to do ABC. I'm deciding between XYZ. I'm having a great time. You go.) But as the crowd started streaming in and the alchohol started flowing and people started running into familiar faces and the music got better, the party really picked up. So much so that they didn't stop even after the 1:30 deadline. Everyone headed back to the WaDuke for an afterparty that went on till almost 5.

Sunday consisted of an apartment tour which started at 9 (what's wrong with these people!?) and ended at 1:30. Spent the rest of the day with friends in Raleigh.

A couple of observations. While I had an amazing time, I realized a couple of things. I am going to have to make a conscious effort to network and be a little thick skinned and start up conversations with people. Don't get me wrong. I'm as arrogant and narcissistic as the next guy. I absolutely think I'm one charming b**tard. But lets face it. Barging into a group of 3-4-5 people who are chatting amongst themselves, and trying to pick up a conversation with them has never been something I've enjoyed and that's what you had to do as you tried to meet new people. Women have it slightly easier in this regard since more often than not, guys will approach them to strike up a conversation.

The other thing was, I was amazed by the diversity of the people I met. I met a girl from Japan, another girl from China and a guy from Hungary among others, all of whom had flown in just for the admit weekend and they had some really interesting experiences to share. The sad thing is that almost 80% of the people I personally met had multiple offers from schools incuding Harvard, Kellogg, Wharton, Michigan and LBS and were still undecided about whether they would be at Fuqua in August. It's sad from a purely selfish standpoint as I really liked all these people and would love to have *all* of them as my classmates (which is unlikely, although quite a few said they were leaning towards Duke). That's right folks, I have turned in my deposit. I am now officially a Blue Devil.

Note: I received an email from an Associate Director at the Office of Admissions at Fuqua, who had come across this post and the line about me surviving on salads and deserts, and wanted to apologize for the fact that I could not find something suitable to eat at BDW even though she had made a special effort to ensure that this would not happen and she wanted to know if I had any suggestions. I thought this was a really cool thing to do and is just one more example of the amazing people and culture at Fuqua, where people care about ensuring that everyone feels like part of the team and has an enjoyable experience. For the record, there were indeed vegetarian options other than salad and desert available!